Wednesday, April 1, 2015

It's Here

The book you've been waiting for.




Chapter 1: What is a Toddler? 
Chapter 2: The Theory of Toddler Evolution (2s, 3s, 4s)
Chapter 3: Grooming Your Goblin 
Chapter 4: Mealtime aka Hell 
Chapter 5: Your Unraveling Life 
Chapter 6: How To Keep Your Toddler Off Your Back (Park, Lying Down Games) 
Chapter 7: A**hole Parents 
Chapter 8: Getting Your Toddler To Listen (LOL) 
Chapter 9: How Not To Die Inside 
Chapter 10: The Guilt-Free Guide To Day Care and Preschools 
Chapter 11: Sleep Drama 
Chapter 12: Potty Training: When The $hit Hits The Fan 
Chapter 13: Holiday Guide 
Chapter 14: Your Nonexistent Sex Life 
Chapter 15: Rites of Passage For Toddler Parents 
Chapter 16: Closing Prayer



Monday, March 30, 2015

Easter Egg Hunt With a Toddler: Fiction vs. Reality


Easter is a very special holiday because it celebrates Jesus getting out of bed and walking around when no one thought he would which all parents can relate to.

If you have a toddler, you might be going to an Easter Egg hunt this year. Instagram has given you unrealistic expectations for holidays so I'm going to break it down. 

Easter Egg Hunt With a Toddler: Fiction (Pinterest Version) 

Your toddler wakes up after you do and with a smile on her face. Her diaper has a reasonable amount of pee pee in it and her pajamas are dry. She's not crying. 

"Good morning, mother!" she says in an English accent even though you're not from England, "Happy Easter!"

Friday, March 20, 2015

Why You Can't Take Your Toddler Anywhere

Whether you're trying to buy groceries or just put gas in your car, you may have noticed that it's difficult to take your toddler places. Before you jump to the nasty and offensive conclusion that this has anything to do with your baby, stop. Your toddler is not at fault here. You are for making them feel like a secondary responsibility.

See, not being the center of your attention hurts your toddler's feelings deeply and makes them need to slap you to reset your priorities.

A few days ago my friend Marcia Y. S. sent me some family photos. These are from her sister's wedding last November. Her two children, the Main Child (age 3), and Sibling Infant (age 1), were also asked to be in the wedding.

Toddlers can sense when they are being asked to celebrate the life of someone else (birthdays, weddings, baby showers) and we want no part of it. If the cake at an event does not have our name on it, what's the point exactly?

Now have a look at these photos.