Why You Can't Take Your Toddler Anywhere

Whether you're trying to buy groceries or just put gas in your car, you may have noticed that it's difficult to take your toddler places. Before you jump to the nasty and offensive conclusion that this has anything to do with your baby, stop. Your toddler is not at fault here. You are for making them feel like a secondary responsibility.

See, not being the center of your attention hurts your toddler's feelings deeply and makes them need to slap you to reset your priorities.

A few days ago my friend Marcia Y. S. sent me some family photos. These are from her sister's wedding last November. Her two children, the Main Child (age 3), and Sibling Infant (age 1), were also asked to be in the wedding.

Toddlers can sense when they are being asked to celebrate the life of someone else (birthdays, weddings, baby showers) and we want no part of it. If the cake at an event does not have our name on it, what's the point exactly?

Now have a look at these photos.
 You can already see clear signs of distress on Main Child's face. Infant Sibling is also upset and doing what infant siblings do best: being held and taking attention. Funny how Main Child is being made to walk when he was born first and is therefore the rightful heir to the family fortune (Lion King, 1994).

So much is going through Main Child's face. Why am I here? These clothes hurt. My legs are tired. Who are these people?  I want to watch Netflix.


Jennifer Thrift Photography

Again, so much is happening. Infant Sibling has decided to no longer support her back and neck. Main Child is in an increasing state of anger over being forced to wear both pants and a shirt. Main Child also doesn't like being looked at by people. You can see by his exposed stomach that he's slowed his gait down significantly and is thinking about dropping.

Jennifer Thrift Photography


This is truly beautiful. Main Child has made the difficult but necessary decision to Go Boneless. Going Boneless is when a child activates an enzyme in their brain that converts hard mineral-based bones into Cream of Wheat. He is now entirely supported by his mother's right arm. Infant Sibling has been inspired by her brother and is doing what we call the Cowboy Buck. I have no doubt in my mind that she's crying. Well done. Main Child is doing a silent protest. If you'll look in his eyes you'll see that he's somewhere else now and will be unresponsive to verbal cues.

Jennifer Thrift Photography

Let this be a lesson to all of the adults reading this. 

1. Don't leave the house unless it's to go through a fast food drive-thru for your child. 
2. Don't make your toddler wear formal clothing like pants.
3. Don't make your toddler walk. 
4. Don't have a second child (she caused this).
5. Don't look at toddlers who don't belong to you (blond lady in the second photo, I'm talking to you).
6. Pick up your toddler. 

Thank you for reading. When you know better, you do better. 

love, HT

My mom wrote this. She said it's pretty much my baby book and a celebration of how toddlers make you want to run away from home sometimes.





http://www.amazon.com/Toddlers-Are-holes-Your-Fault/dp/076118564X