Target CEO Application

Dear Target,

I heard you guys are in a tough spot and are looking for a new CEO. Please consider this my official bid for the position. My application is below. Thank you for your consideration. (I am sorry about what happened today, I was not aware of your pants-on policy).

 Name: Honest Toddler
Age: This many
Current occupation: Motivator, Personal Coach


-Wait, I did watch Sesame Street letters A-Z
-Super Why Seasons 1-4 completed
-Draws Often
-I held a pack of flashcards in my hand once but did not learn
-College. I mean Collage. I made a Collage with paper before. 


-Waking Up Early
-Making Meals Difficult
-Eating Garbage/Floor Food
-Able To Detect Tap Water In Juice
-Able To Detect Vegetables In Meatballs
-Communicating With Animals/Nature (You can't prove I can't)
-Attention To Details
-Quality Control

Extracurricular Activities:

-Wow Wow Wubzy
-Grandma's house
-Big Bed
-Standing in Kitchen Asking About Dinner

Name your biggest strength: 

My leg muscles. Everyone I have kicked has had tears in their eyes. Adults and children friends, too.

Where do you see yourself in five years:

Hopefully I will have my own place and my own iPad. 

Name a time you made the best out of a bad situation: 

One time there were spices on my pizza in a restaurant. I wanted plain cheese pizza so I cried until I throwed up.

Thank you, Target. I know you are an equal opportunity employer so you are forced to read this under the penalty of perjury. I promise to be a wonderful, caring CEO to all my servants. love, HT

PS. I want to be paid in $10s an $20s


Order- The Honest Toddler: A Child's Guide to Parenting.