Interview With Caillou

To celebrate the launch of my book tomorrow I reached out to my favorite media personalities for exclusive interviews. One of the first to respond was Caillou. Below is our interview.

Honest Toddler: Hello Caillou. Thank you for coming today.

Caillou: Thank you for having me.

HT: So, you're a very popular child. What's the hardest part of being, Caillou?

Caillou: The death threats.

HT: Oh. Sorry. What's it like being animated?

Caillou: I've never had a real body so it's hard to compare but it's like being made out of cotton candy. You feel delicate.

HT: Ok weird. Why do you think kids love you so much?

Caillou: Kids watch me because I'm living the dream. I'm bad. I'm not going to dance around it. I'm very bad. But at the end of the day, I get what I want.

HT: How do you get away with it? Yesterday I lost dessert.

Caillou: Without me the show would be nothing. Everybody knows that. They want to get paid.

HT: So it's an income thing.

Caillou: Yeah.

HT: What is Rosie like off the set?

Caillou: Who is Rosie.

HT: Your sister.

Caillou: Oh yeah that girl. I don't know her very well to be honest but she smells bad.

HT: Let's play a little word association. I say a word, you tell me the first thing that pops into your head.

Caillou: OK

HT: Cake

Caillou: Probation

HT: Hugs

Caillou: Weapons

HT: Snacks

Caillou: Destruct

HT: There's something wrong with you, isn't there?

Caillou: I've heard that before.

HT: What's your favorite activity?

Caillou: Arson

HT: Thank you so much for joining us today! Let's take separate exits. People know where I am. Bye Caillou. 

My book comes out tomorrow. I'm not at all tired of talking about it. It's the most important book in the world and will change your life for the better. Without it you will feel incomplete and like a waste of blood. Testimonials:

"I thought I had a good life but then I bought this book and everything changed. Within four days I won the lottery and became more attractive in the face. My dead hamster came back to life also." - Sam, Oregon

"I compare this book to Magna Carta, Bible, and the US Constitution because it's inspiring is holy-ish, and set me free." -Al, Seattle

"My husband and I don't have any kids but we were thinking about it. After reading your book we now realize how much they would destroy our quality of life. Thank you." Heather, Fresno

"My toddler has been kicked out of two preschools. At first we thought he was the problem. Now we know it was just their dumb rules and policies. We're starting a lawsuit. Thanks HT!" - Belinda, Rhode Island

My book- The Honest Toddler: A Child's Guide to Parenting.