Honest Toddlers of The Day: Malachi & Josiah

The Honest Toddler of the Day is an honor given to young children who embody the toddler principles for life. They are:

-General Badness
-Not Listening
-Rebellious Nature
-Ripping Money
-Eating Problems
-Sleep Avoidance
-Food Steal
-Lying About Poo
-Loud Voice
-Big Bed
-Infant Sibling Disease Prevention

Today's Honest Toddlers of the Day are Malachi & Josiah. Age Two. These children are what biology calls "twins." Twins happen when a toddler and shapeshifter live in the same home. Nobody knows who is the real one so they are forced to feed them both.

I have my money on Malachi (in the red) being the real toddler because he appears to have been recently threatened. Look at his scared face. Josiah (in the orange), on the other hand looks content and bold. Malachi (red) also looks worried as if he has personally witnessed Josiah mid-shape-shift and didn't like what he saw.

I conducted an exclusive interview with their mom Jennika:

When I asked her directly about the shapeshifter issue she pretended not to know what I was talking about:

Jennika: "I don't know of either to be a shapeshifter...


Me: What foods does your toddler and your shapeshifter like to eat?

Jennika: Their favorite foods are cheesesticks, chicken nuggets, fruit snacks and dog food. 

Me: What are their favorite toys? 

Jennika: Malachi's {the real child} favorites toy are his basketball or football. Josiah {shapeshifter} likes his matchbox cars.  

Me: Do you think Josiah enjoys matchbox cars because they are a play version of something real much like him? 

(She didn't respond)

Me: In what way have your child and the other brought shame to your family? 

Jennika: I have had to apologize to store managers for the food or article of clothing my toddlers lifted and hid in the stroller. 

Me: Wow good! 

Thank you, Jennika, for this interview. To keep Josiah happy, we will send two boxes of Dunkaroos and a copy of The Honest Toddler: A Child's Guide to Parenting in paperback when it comes out April 22nd. 

Malachi if you ever need to talk I'm here. If Josiah every says anything along the lines of "THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE" in his sleep, it's time to get out of there. 


Do you blame your child for your voice being in a frequency they can't hear?

Does your toddler act like animal?

Nominate your child for Honest Toddler of the Day by posting their story on my Facebook wall. http://www.facebook.com/HonestToddler

If you've already won, make sure you've emailed your cross streets and the color of the front door to thehonesttoddler@gmail.com You can also tell me what flavor of Dunkaroos you would like but no guarantees because I need to eat, too. 

*Facebook is not associated with this contest and has nothing to do with it. Facebook is not liable for anything. Facebook would never go into business with me. You can enter as many times as you want and photos are chosen from all the days- past, present and future.