Honest Toddler of the Day: James

The Honest Toddler of the Day is an honor given to young children who embody the toddler principles for life. They are:

-General Badness
-Not Listening
-Rebellious Nature
-Mobile Phone Damage
-Eating Problems
-Sleep Avoidance
-Hitting Friends
-Food Steal
-Lying About Poo
-Loud Voice
-Big Bed Domination
-Breaking Things
-Ruining Dinner
-Infant Sibling Disease Prevention

Today we honor James for coming in like a wrecking ball with his entry.

"I'm James. Repin' the playgrounds of Boston."

James is an urban city toddler whose enthusiasm for talking is only matched by his unwillingness to take direction. As you can tell by the first photo, he enjoys hats of all sizes.

James' hobbies include hitting smaller children, guarding his sand toys at the park and being a leader when it comes to the prevention of Infant Sibling Disease, an affliction he knows all too well. While James was unable to prevent ISD in his own home, he is working hard to make sure his downstairs neighbor and anyone he meets is too nervous/shaky to reproduce successfully.

"That [second] photo was after I was done feeling my feelings (I suffer from Infant Sibling Disease). When I feel feelings it's accompanied by loud screaming and throwing my toys. I also think this helps my (single) downstairs neighbor to remember to practice safe cuddling."

You are a good person. Hey James, what do you like to eat?

"I survive on a steady diet of milk and air. When I get woozy I'll have some chicken nuggets." 

Mmmm air. Nothing like it. Most people don't know this but the nuggets are a favorite amongst toddlers because the innovative rounded rectangle shape feels good in our hands.

James, what are you in to? James? James.

[It took twenty minutes but we located James]

"I like money and putting it in slots. I put some change in Mommy's car CD player and now it's broke. My Nanny explained to my Mommy that I just thought it was a juke box whatever that is. Shout out to Nanny! Whaddup to Pop!"

My favorite part of that story is when the CD player broke by itself. Kudos to your grandma for coming up with an elaborate reason why it happened. She sounds like a nice, loving woman who people could learn from if they were humble enough to.

James, you are a calm child. I admire how you are dealing with your Infant Sibling Disease. A controversial photo was released yesterday of you relating to the infant in your home.

If I'm not mistaken, your happy expression says, "You see what I want you to see." I can't get over how truly joyous your face is. You're on top of the world!

Congratulations James. Even though I'm certain there is a backpack leash in your immediate future, I know you will go far in life.


James has won an unopened box of chocolate Dunkaroos and a copy of The Honest Toddler: A Child's Guide to Parenting in paperback when it comes out April 22nd.


Do you have a small child brave enough to stand up to your fake consequences?

Have you ever said, "Why did you do that?" and got no response?  

Nominate a child who makes eat out of frustration by posting their photo and problems on the Facebook wall. http://www.facebook.com/HonestToddler

*Facebook is not associated with this contest and has nothing to do with it. Facebook is not liable for anything. Facebook would never go into business with me. You can enter as many times as you want and photos are chosen from all the days- past and present. If you are a winner, message me with your coordinates for prize distribution.