Honest Toddler of the Day: Isobel

Don't be fooled by the rocks that she got in that first pic, our Honest Toddler of the Day is suffering. Yesterday I received a passive aggressive email from a mother about her two year-old child, Isobel. The tone was very familiar as I've grown used to it in my personal life.
I nominate Isobel for having a perpetually bad attitude...The slightest feeling of injustice will be met with wails and cries... Isobel will not stand for petty disappointments. Her family nickname is "The Hater" as she doesn't care much for anyone except her live-in servants. Isobel eats as long as it is not green in color. When presented with a salad, roasted cauliflower and spinach pea risotto (sic), she howled, "Oh no! I can't eat nutting!"

I wouldn't be able to eat nutting either. In fact, if presented with a salad, roasted cauliflower and spinach pea risotto (were you all out of boiled snakes?) I'd probably expire on the spot. Bravo Isobel for using your words although in the future nobody would blame you if you just flipped the bowl. Isobel, please pass on the following websites to your caregivers:

www.dominos.com

www.pizzahut.com

www.keebler.com

I had a suspicion that Isobel's problem was bigger than just terrible food and my hunch was quickly confirmed when her mother mentioned a sibling named Iris. Sibling Disease (related to Infant Sibling Disease) affects 4 in five toddlers. Symptoms include crying, throwing, breaking, the vomits, inappropriate pee pee. To raise a toddler successfully, you need to be able to give them 100% of your attention. Sibling children oftentimes don't know their place and ruin everything.
Iris was on Isobel's riding toy. I told her to get off. After all, she freaks when Isobel is on her tricycle. Iris ignored me. Isobel comes up behind her, hooks her arm around Iris's neck and throws her off the bike.

The problem child, Iris, needs to be dealt with so that Isobel can have a happy life. I suggest that Isobel's mother call around to family and friends. Let's work together to get this ward a new home. Then the healing can start.

I reached out to Isobel directly through Skype this morning to see how felt about giving up her sister. She sent me the following photo.

isobel2Let's hope this transition is a smooth one.


Isobel